More Than Four Sides

Category: Ethics

  • Too much death lately…

    I am a doctor.  I take care of patients who are sometimes very ill.  Death is a natural part of the process of being very ill, or very old.  I accept that. But, sometimes, it seems like there are too many deaths happening, and this weekend was a particularly rough one, that culminated in a…

  • Familiar suggestions…to Thrive

    I first engaged seriously in meditation when I was about 15years old.  I had the tremendous good fortune to be part of the A-school (the “Alternative” school) as Palo Alto High School, and met an amazing teacher who invited us to participate in an optional “class” – meditation and chanting led on Wednesday mornings in…

  • End of life – no discussion

    Right after I had the encounter I described a few weeks ago, I received an email with terrible news. The email included a scanned hand-written letter – a farewell letter to family and friends. The writer of this letter is someone I have known for most of my life – a vibrant, lively, intelligent person…

  • End-of life discussion, part two-B

    I forgot to add, in my last post, a description of the last encounter I had with the husband, Ted, at the end of our visit that day. We had done our examination of Eleanor’s wound, and the nurse was repacking the wound-vac dressing which was helping in the healing process.  I stepped out of…

  • End-of-life discussion, part two

    I started a post about “End of Life Discussions”, and it’s taken me awhile to get back to it.  Life got busy.  But the thoughts have persisted… So, I was sitting in a clinic exam room with my patient, we’ll call her Eleanor, and her husband, we’ll call him Ted.  And I launched into my pitch:…

  • Peeking through the door

    If you’re “friends” with me on goodreads, you’ll know that I’m tearing through a book that I learned about through the podcast “On Being”. The book is Joy Ladin’s “Through the Door of Life: A Jewish Journey Between Genders”. To start with the podcast, which aired June 20, and the program was titled “Gender and…

  • The Anarchist Soccer Mom: Thinking the Unthinkable

    The Anarchist Soccer Mom: Thinking the Unthinkable. I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am Jason Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help. In the wake of another horrific national tragedy,…

  • Resonating with the words of Heschel…

    OK, first order of business, my mother is doing better! My sister is doing a marvelous job of supporting her, as always, and she’s now safely back in the hospital, and no longer expressing active suicidal thoughts. And that’s a huge relief. It could easily be different tomorrow, but, one day at a time, right?…

  • “I’m going to kill myself”

    No, I’m not suicidal. But my mother is. It’s sort of socially acceptable to have your elderly parent call you and complain about chest pain, or back pain, or even severe dementia. But, having a severe mental illness and wanting to end your own life? Not so socially acceptable. My sister and I have been…

  • Offending those we love…

    I am cautious about what I post here.  For one, I am aware that it’s available to a wide variety of folks who are connected to me either directly or indirectly.  And, it’s mostly a personal blog, but could be read by my patients, my students, and my colleagues.  So, I am always thinking about…