I am cautious about what I post here. For one, I am aware that it’s available to a wide variety of folks who are connected to me either directly or indirectly. And, it’s mostly a personal blog, but could be read by my patients, my students, and my colleagues. So, I am always thinking about my posts before I hit the “Publish” button.
I commented the other day (and the following day) on a post that I found on clotildajamcracker‘s blog – a self-professed “oddball fiction writer and suburban food forest gardener” who write children’s fiction, and blogs about living debt-free. Recently, she posted a scathing criticism of the spending habits of her sister, Clementine, including a photo of said sister, who looks quite friendly. And, then, the following day, another criticism of her grandmother, grandmothers in general, and her mother-in-law in particular.
Now, maybe this blogger is inventing all these people she criticizes so freely – maybe they aren’t really her family members. After all, she does claim the title “fiction writer”.
One commenter on her site observed: “I sure hope your sister doesn’t know about these posts.”
To which clotildajamcracker replied: “I’m sure she’s off somewhere talking smack about me. She isn’t such a nice person. Anyway, I think I told her that I blog about her.”
Really?? I’m fascinated, in a bit of a rubber-necking, looking for the train-wreck kind of way, by this apparently unabashed self-righteous public expression, which seems to revolve around the attitude that “I’m right, and everyone else is wrong, and here’s why I think so.”
It comes along with a fearlessly unfiltered, and seemingly unconcerned for the fall-out, attitude of telling it all as you see it. No holds barred.
The question that clotildajamcracker asked at the end of her rant about grandparents was “…if anyone has raised kids that turned out happy and drug free, I would love to hear how you did it.”
My advice (having a relatively happy, and definitely drug-free 30+ year old daughter, and working on getting the 7yo and the 4yo to adulthood similarly well-adjusted): “Don’t bash on all your relatives all the time”. In fact, don’t bash on anyone. Don’t be judgmental. Give folks the benefit of a doubt.
Shalom Bayit – Peace in the house. Yes, it’s tough sometimes. That’s the point. We need to practice getting along with those we have to get along with, because they are inextricably attached to us through human ties, and then, having mastered the art of getting along, mostly peacefully, with those we are officially joined to, we may be able to extend that practice of good-will, and generosity of spirit, to those in our community, and then those outside our community, and finally, to include those who we had previously defined as The Enemy.
Then, we have really succeeded in living a Good Life.
At least, in my humble opinion…